Oklahoma's Chief Troller

The Oxford Dictionary’s 2024 Word of the Year actually is two – brain rot – which it defines as “the supposed deterioration of a person’s mental or intellectual state” from overconsumption of “trivial or unchallenging” social media.

In a similar vein, I suggest all dictionaries update their informal definition of “troll” to include a photo of state Superintendent Ryan Walters after last week’s proposal that local school superintendents be elected.

“We have seen rogue school administrators ignore the will of the parents and taxpayers in their district to inject pornography into schools, cover up the sexual misconduct of teachers, allow students to lick each other’s toes, and even be arrested [for] public intoxication on school grounds,” Walters said in a statement reported by Oklahoma Voice.

“Parents are rightfully horrified by this kind of misconduct, and it’s time to put parents in control over their neighborhood schools by giving voters a direct way to hold superintendents accountable.”

This is classic Walters. Start by braying about unchecked lust, sex and lasciviousness in Oklahoma schools, allegedly covered up by local superintendents. Then toss in the specious notion that parents are powerless to do anything about a woke education establishment indoctrinating their kids.

And suddenly, Walters’ insatiable appetite for attention is satiated – at least for a nanosecond. He’s snagging headlines. And fueling social media clicks.

Walters’ dystopian view of Oklahoma public education doesn’t square with reality, of course. Yes, there have been bad adult actors in Oklahoma schools, just like in every other endeavor and profession. And yes, not all schoolhouse offenders were prosecuted to the satisfaction of everyone in the district.

But remember this: local school superintendents do not operate in a vacuum. Nor do they wield unchecked power. They serve at the pleasure of locally elected school boards whose members periodically face district parents and patrons at the ballot box.

For Walters, this latest bombast serves two narcissistic purposes: First, it helped him regain the limelight after his failed quest to become President-elect Trump’s education secretary. Second, it trolled local school superintendents who’ve dared exercise their legal authority to ignore Walters’ arbitrary demands.

What sorts of demands? That a so-called Trump Bible be placed in every classroom and that a video showing Walters praying for Trump be distributed to all students and parents, just to name two.

Neither is a prescription for improving Oklahoma schools – a goal that should command the state superintendent’s time and attention, right?

If this were anything more than a publicity stunt and social media trolling, Walters would have unveiled his proposal alongside state lawmakers who are essential to its introduction and passage. Instead, he got immediate pushback, even from legislators normally sympathetic to Walters’ goal of turning public schools into private for profit and/or religious centers.

When uber-right Bartlesville Sen. Julie Daniels, a member of the Senate Education Committee, thinks it’s a bad idea, it’s going nowhere fast.

Nonetheless, Walters’ rhetoric probably thrills his staunchest grass roots allies who share his disdain for “government” schools. They often show up at local school board meetings to raise hell about things like Edmond’s policy that prevented a student from displaying the U.S. flag on his vehicle while on school property. And they run – often unsuccessfully – for school board seats.

More importantly for Walters’ purposes, they show up and vote in Republican primaries – not an insignificant consideration when one is eyeing a bid for governor in 2028.

In the meantime, Oklahomans get to endure at least two more years of Walters’ state superintendency – 24 months of grandstanding and trolling that benefits him, not the state’s three quarters of a million students, their parents or teachers.