Yes, We Build No Bananas

Oh, the mistakes we make. Those great opportunities where we hesitated – and lost out. I still remember Uncle Elmer lamenting about 70 years ago because he had not bought up what was then becoming prime real estate in Oklahoma City.

Thirty-five years ago a real estate agent told me I was just too, too late to buy into Custer City, SD, before richer out-of-staters sent local prices soaring. Love those Black Hills – and the Purple Pie Place.

Last week I saw another potential windfall evaporate – due to harsh reality.

On Tuesday President Donald Trump announced a 50% tariff on copper imports: “Today, we're doing copper. I believe the tariff on copper, we're going to make it 50%."

And he announced more sweeping tariffs as well, his idea of negotiating being to send out insulting letters and then go play golf and funnel more tax money into his pocket.

[While everyone lets slide the underlying instability in the doddering Trump’s phrasing, at least he was not conducting a seminar on the virtues of gold paint and gold leaf in the middle of a Cabinet meeting.]

But the guy who never met a tariff he did not like was intent on teaching those foreigners a lesson for not mining copper in the good old US of A.

That reminded me of our decision to sell the family acreage down in Jefferson County several years ago. Heck, if we had waited, we could start digging an open-pit copper mine. Now I’m left with only my backyard – and alley since I am responsible for keeping it mowed.

Of course, the absence of local copper deposits handicaps my aspirations – the reality that seems to escape the mental acuity of the president whose White House last week posted an image of him as Superman – about 50 pounds lighter and 35 years younger than he is and not nearly as orange.

The U.S. imports copper because we cannot produce all that we need. So, Trump’s 50% tariff will add to the costs for American manufactures, who will pass those increases along to American consumers.

Copper’s conductivity makes it ideal for electrical wires and cables. Last year a commuter train in Barcelona ground to halt after thieves stole the copper cables. And similar attacks have been carried out on abandoned buildings and operating air conditioning units in this country.

Copper is valuable, needed also for plumbing, construction, solar cells and even electric vehicles.

But copper is mined where copper exists! The U.S. has copper deposits, but not as much our industries require.

We are reminded of the exchange between Rep. Madeleine Dean, D-CT, and Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick in early June. Echoing the Trump company line, Lutnick said there was no uncertainty about tariffs: “If you build in America and you produce your product in America, there will be no tariff.”

Dean tried to educate the true Trumper: “We can’t produce bananas in America. We cannot build bananas in America.”

Well, there goes another potential source for a good and true patriot like I am to take advantage of higher prices on imported bananas with lower prices on homegrown alternatives.

I am similarly out of luck on the coffee and chocolate markets. Two of our most popular refreshments are available only via imports. I could plant them here [cacao for the chocolate] and watch them wither to match Trump’s face beneath the orange paint.

[Just keep mowing the alley and leave the oak trees and acorns for the squirrels.]

Just how dumb is Donald Trump? He announced a tariff on Mexican tomatoes in the middle of summer as our growing season ends. Even a quick replanting means higher prices for months.

He has likely never seen a gardening zone map in his life. The growing season grows longer the farther south one goes.

Yes, Trump tariffs on coffee, chocolate, bananas, copper and now tomatoes will be paid for by consumers with no chance of American ingenuity and entrepreneurship or foreign investments to offset the impact.